Sat Nav Man!

Once again a paid up member of the dating world, it was time to cast my net, or should that be trawl the Net. Whilst my perfect profile still required work, I tentatively posted a photo, wrote some temporary and innocuous words and launched myself on the mercy of the online sharkpool....

I am sorry to report that my first experience wasn't great. It involved a sat nav, a very angry man and there is very little I need to add to this post, as my date's view of events, as described in his texts reproduced below, demonstrate why this guy was never going to see my bedroom ceiling!

It started with an email, followed by a phone call. He sounded funny and intelligent, albeit suffering from a serious bout of man flu (the relevance of this will be revealed shortly)! He didn't sound much of an alpha male - not a problem - I wasn't sure I wanted one of those anyway!

We arranged to meet for a drink the following evening. When I arrived at the pub I couldn't see him so called his number. Having chosen a venue, at his insistence, that he could park close too, as he'd 'been laid up with flu' and didn't want to 'put himself back by getting cold' (oh dear - the warning bells should have been clanging loudly by now) I was surprised when he told me where he had parked - about half a mile from the pub. Neverthless, I gave him directions and said I would walk to meet him whilst all the time we chatted on the phone.

About 20 metres from the pub I noticed a parking space so commented, quite reasonably, or  so I thought...

'There's a parking space here. Sack the sat nav and I'll save the space for you if you drive round'.

The phone went dead. Bloody mobile reception, I thought. I tried to call; answerphone. I tried again; answerphone. And then the tirade began...by text:

          'Cant be assed with conversations on sat navs and where i should or should not have parked ! Its simple ! I sensibly parked when the sat nav said i was close to the pub and i saw a parking space ! Thank you for pointing out you are stood by one, very useful !! On way home'

          'You were acting as every solicitor does ! Talking down their nose ! Get this .. Sat nav says 190 yards i see parking space i park ! I didnt have the hindsight to see a parking spave by you so i took the intelligent option ! Apologies for my stupidity ! I didnt set my sat nav for parking space by you i set it to the pub damn im soooo stupid !'

           'Think about it ! How would i know there was a space closer to the pub !!! My god i do applogise i for my inability to see ahead ! Maybe you are used to people that dont match your intelligence and hence you talk to them like they are idiots or you dont listen .. Why did i need to sack my sat nav ? It got me here ! And i parked when i saw a space. I must have missed out on those sat navs that take you to empty parking places ! Seeing a parling space and taking it is THE sensible option.. In my world ! Bizarre'

         'I have not come all this way to be lectured on where i should have parked !! Now im freezing and hungry and peeed right off !'

         'There is no humour in the totally unecessary comment re you being stood by a parking space in answer to me saying i grabbed one when i saw it .. To me driving to the pub to find no where to park and then having to find one is not the option i chose, seeing one and parking was .. Clearly hindsight should be in your list of requitements :) and a sat nav that predicts empty parking spaces ! Now thats an amazing item :) Shame'

And, no, as you can probably gather from the spelling, I did not fabricate the above. Original texts available on requests! I truly couldn't make it up, but was very glad that Mr. Angry had disappeared, hopefully, never to be seen again. Already I was beginning to regret parting with £90 for a 6 month membership! Next...!