Acceding to popular request I have decided to park (excuse the pun) the tale of Paris Match, for now, and regale you with the story of Bus Pass Toy Boy.
In the meantime, Toffee has astutely commented that the weekend's Muppet ensemble did at least get younger as the weekend progressed - 80, 69, 54, 40's and maybe I should try a Toy Boy? Funny he should say that....as, a few years ago, when I'd just come out of a relationship with Mr. Dyson (more of whom later), who was very special to me at the time, and is still a good and dear friend, I tried just that!
It started like this, and I accept in advance that this was not my finest moment ever, so please forgive me...many of us have done things we regret, after a glass of Chablis too many (I more than most)...
After splitting with Mr. Dyson, who I had loved very much, I spent a great deal of time feeling extremely sorry for myself and did a few mad things, as one does on the rebound (again), including rescuing a mad Border Terrier (more of him later too).
In an effort to cheer me up, my friends insisted on a night out - getting plastered and going out dancing seemed to them the ideal solution to my broken heart.
And it seemed pretty ideal to me too, when I was chatted up by a very attractive young man who clearly spent much of his time lifting weights; a lot more time than he spent practising having something interesting to say. After a couple of bottles of wine, I was more than happy to gloss over his conversational shortcomings and meet this Adonis-like 21 year old the following weekend.
So my 32 year old self did! Drinks, followed by a curry. Never one to be accused of looking for a meal ticket, I was more than happy to pay my way, so the meal over and duly sated, I happily whisked out my credit card expecting to go Dutch!
What I didn't expect was for him to say 'thank you very much' and let me pay for both of us (me having already paid for all the drinks in the pub first). I was beginning to feel like his mother!
However, and not to my credit, I was on a determined mission to put some distance between me and Mr. Dyson. So it was, that I decided a night of passion was on the cards....he may not say much, but he was fit and a night with a nubile youth might just help restore my shattered self-esteem....or maybe not.
Waking up the following morning, I was rather pleased that a passionate kiss had led to nothing more than him falling asleep snoring, as soon as his, admittedly, enviable muscles hit the mattress. Wanting him to leave as soon a politely possible, but feeling obliged to make him tea and toast whilst he showered, I was interested (!!) to learn that he was about to sell his Ford Ka to save money and buy a bus pass instead. He rejected the toast as he was, apparently, off to meet his mates in McDonald's, before Sunday morning footie! So, sadly, I didn't put the anticipated distance between me and Mr. D, but I did put enough to realise that an enviable set of pecs were no substitute for an enviable brain and humour...
So when I was contacted over the last few days by a hunky gardener, 13 years my junior, I thanked him for his interest and moved very swiftly on....NEXT!
In the meantime, Toffee has astutely commented that the weekend's Muppet ensemble did at least get younger as the weekend progressed - 80, 69, 54, 40's and maybe I should try a Toy Boy? Funny he should say that....as, a few years ago, when I'd just come out of a relationship with Mr. Dyson (more of whom later), who was very special to me at the time, and is still a good and dear friend, I tried just that!
I promise to come back to all those I've mentioned in passing, in due course.
It started like this, and I accept in advance that this was not my finest moment ever, so please forgive me...many of us have done things we regret, after a glass of Chablis too many (I more than most)...
After splitting with Mr. Dyson, who I had loved very much, I spent a great deal of time feeling extremely sorry for myself and did a few mad things, as one does on the rebound (again), including rescuing a mad Border Terrier (more of him later too).
In an effort to cheer me up, my friends insisted on a night out - getting plastered and going out dancing seemed to them the ideal solution to my broken heart.
And it seemed pretty ideal to me too, when I was chatted up by a very attractive young man who clearly spent much of his time lifting weights; a lot more time than he spent practising having something interesting to say. After a couple of bottles of wine, I was more than happy to gloss over his conversational shortcomings and meet this Adonis-like 21 year old the following weekend.
So my 32 year old self did! Drinks, followed by a curry. Never one to be accused of looking for a meal ticket, I was more than happy to pay my way, so the meal over and duly sated, I happily whisked out my credit card expecting to go Dutch!
What I didn't expect was for him to say 'thank you very much' and let me pay for both of us (me having already paid for all the drinks in the pub first). I was beginning to feel like his mother!
However, and not to my credit, I was on a determined mission to put some distance between me and Mr. Dyson. So it was, that I decided a night of passion was on the cards....he may not say much, but he was fit and a night with a nubile youth might just help restore my shattered self-esteem....or maybe not.
Waking up the following morning, I was rather pleased that a passionate kiss had led to nothing more than him falling asleep snoring, as soon as his, admittedly, enviable muscles hit the mattress. Wanting him to leave as soon a politely possible, but feeling obliged to make him tea and toast whilst he showered, I was interested (!!) to learn that he was about to sell his Ford Ka to save money and buy a bus pass instead. He rejected the toast as he was, apparently, off to meet his mates in McDonald's, before Sunday morning footie! So, sadly, I didn't put the anticipated distance between me and Mr. D, but I did put enough to realise that an enviable set of pecs were no substitute for an enviable brain and humour...
So when I was contacted over the last few days by a hunky gardener, 13 years my junior, I thanked him for his interest and moved very swiftly on....NEXT!
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