Back to the present and, in between police station appearances, my first week back on the Internet has not been laden with possibility.
Amongst the general mass of profiles written in text language with no command of capital letters, let alone the English language, there were some outstanding approaches that deserve special mention.
First, Reginald (remember, names have been changed to protect the guilty) sent me an, admittedly eloquent, email inviting me out for dinner. He was apparently a talented script writer and great company. Interest piqued, I clicked onto his 'invitation only' photos that he had kindly invited me to view!
This couldn't be him...surely... back a click!
OMG - yes it could - I checked his age only to find I had been hit on by an octogenarian - he was 80....I'm not ageist but....double my age was pushing it even for my broad mind.
Things weren't improved when a (slightly) younger suitor contacted me asking if I'd like to correspond. Clearly an animal lover (a positive), he lived with his two dogs, six ducks and a cockatoo in...wait for it.... Southern Australia ... very convenient to meet for coffee! In any event I was looking for a lover, not a geriatric pen pal! He was 69.... but probably older...if you recall what an age ending in '9' means, from an earlier post.
Next up was a gushy email from a man who gave me his full name immediately; he claimed to be 51 and live in London. After some cursory research, it transpired that he was a failed MP from nowhere near London, newspaper reports in 2004 claimed he was 54; he had more active court cases than the Old Bailey and more children than Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt!
Moving swiftly on, I was delighted to receive an interesting and fun email from a man who looked normal - not just normal, but attractive, about my age and lived only 30 miles away! Divorced, kids and looking to build a great relationship with a like-minded soul. Yay! Hope restored, and a suitably chatty response sent...
To say his second email could have done any porn script proud was an understatement. It was pure filth and not exactly appropriate when we'd previously exchanged nothing more than first names and a discussion about a mutual love of wine and walking the Dorset coast!
As I wasn't interested in getting into a Christian Grey situation on a second email, I did what any woman with any self respect would do - blocked him, but only after I'd emailed him saying that I was sure his kids would be really proud of him and reported him to the site for gross indecency! For the sake of the female population at large I only hope they have done the decent thing and removed him...
Note to self: think positive ....dating is a numbers game, isn't it...just be patient...and NEXT time....!
Amongst the general mass of profiles written in text language with no command of capital letters, let alone the English language, there were some outstanding approaches that deserve special mention.First, Reginald (remember, names have been changed to protect the guilty) sent me an, admittedly eloquent, email inviting me out for dinner. He was apparently a talented script writer and great company. Interest piqued, I clicked onto his 'invitation only' photos that he had kindly invited me to view!
This couldn't be him...surely... back a click!
OMG - yes it could - I checked his age only to find I had been hit on by an octogenarian - he was 80....I'm not ageist but....double my age was pushing it even for my broad mind.
Things weren't improved when a (slightly) younger suitor contacted me asking if I'd like to correspond. Clearly an animal lover (a positive), he lived with his two dogs, six ducks and a cockatoo in...wait for it.... Southern Australia ... very convenient to meet for coffee! In any event I was looking for a lover, not a geriatric pen pal! He was 69.... but probably older...if you recall what an age ending in '9' means, from an earlier post.
Next up was a gushy email from a man who gave me his full name immediately; he claimed to be 51 and live in London. After some cursory research, it transpired that he was a failed MP from nowhere near London, newspaper reports in 2004 claimed he was 54; he had more active court cases than the Old Bailey and more children than Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt!
Moving swiftly on, I was delighted to receive an interesting and fun email from a man who looked normal - not just normal, but attractive, about my age and lived only 30 miles away! Divorced, kids and looking to build a great relationship with a like-minded soul. Yay! Hope restored, and a suitably chatty response sent...
To say his second email could have done any porn script proud was an understatement. It was pure filth and not exactly appropriate when we'd previously exchanged nothing more than first names and a discussion about a mutual love of wine and walking the Dorset coast!
As I wasn't interested in getting into a Christian Grey situation on a second email, I did what any woman with any self respect would do - blocked him, but only after I'd emailed him saying that I was sure his kids would be really proud of him and reported him to the site for gross indecency! For the sake of the female population at large I only hope they have done the decent thing and removed him...
Note to self: think positive ....dating is a numbers game, isn't it...just be patient...and NEXT time....!
Hey Daisy. At least you are heading in the right direction.....80, 69, 54, 40something!? Are you sure about the 69 guy? sounds like a euphemism to me for his preferred ahem....
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about a ToyBoy?....not those inflatables but the real thing....perhaps "The Blind Date" is one??
Keep them coming!!!!