After several unsuccessful attempts at attracting the jailer's attention I gave up. It was only at this point I realised that, whilst one could enter the glass screen encasing the dock easily enough, leaving it was a different matter entirely. I was locked inside with no means of escape, no one around and feeling more than a little vulnerable. I really had no idea how I was going to resolve my latest predicament, without looking like a prize imbecile, although, in the circumstances, minor humiliation was probably the least of my worries!
Thankfully, ten minutes later I was rescued by the security guard who was concerned about where I'd got too and was trying his very best not to laugh when he realised my predicament.
Considering my inability to get myself out of custody, it didn't bode well for the man I was supposed to be representing!
When I finally met him he had the most interesting set of previous convictions I'd ever seen, including a couple of convictions for 'engaging in riotous, violent or indecent conduct in a place of worship' - an ancient offence that hit the statute books in 1860, apparently...
The mind boggles about what he might have been doing - too much communion wine perhaps or punching the vicar, maybe? Err no...apparently he'd been fornicating by the font - caught with a lady friend and his pants down, in an extremely compromising position!
Happily the Magistrates took pity on him, deciding the emabarrassment of being found is such a state had probably already been punishment enough, and imposed a very small fine.
NOTE TO MR. FISH (who you may recall, from my very first post, is into God and big boobs) - never mix the two, unless you want to get arrested, as I definitely won't be around to bail you out!
And talking of places of worship, last weekend I went to a church wedding, which I shall tell you about in my next post...and...no...it wasn't my own...although Classified is still around...later!
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