Riding the dating wave!

Ireland was fantastic! I expected nothing else, in light of the friend I was staying with and her country's reputation for great craic!

I almost came unstuck, when hit upon in a bar by the local multi-millionaire (yes, really) which might have been fun, had he not been 80.

Gold digging is not a pastime I am proficient in, neither do I wish to become so, hence his relegation to the Reginald box of 'thanks but no thanks' and shall remain anonymous for blog purposes.

Back home I was met by Classified who managed to look nonchalantly chic as he sat waiting for me in arrivals. Any bloke who can look good in a tight fitting navy shirt has my vote...and the vote of most of the UK's gay population, apparently; he informed me on our fifth date that he regularly gets hit on by gay men and I can see why....

Date 5 has progressed to date 6 and 7 and we're still having fun. There have been brief moments of uncertainty in the Classified camp - mostly because he can't believe how well we get on and, having separated in the more recent past than is ideal (my major red flag!), it had not been part of his game plan to meet someone so soon....

Of course I'm aware of the risk of fraternising with separated, as opposed to properly divorced, men! Its a scenario that has caused carnage in my romantic life in the past and I am therefore very aware of the lure of a retreat to the cave for men in this transitional period

Therefore, for my part, on the surface, I remain more supine than a dead goldfish; below the surface, let's just say that's classified...for now!

However, I'm convinced Classified is one of the good guys ...not a statement I make lightly, albeit I may be about to wish I hadn't tempted fate by saying that, but whatever the future holds - and who can predict that - we're having a lot of fun now just riding the dating wave.

More salient points, for those who are interested:

• He thinks he can cook; he probably can although next time he offers I'll ensure it's not after several pints of beer as the steak was ruined and the kitchen looked like Armageddon afterwards!
• He loves chocolate (bad for my waist and his much coveted abs)!
• He has a tattoo....although not one he planned! A drunken night as a teenager saw a dolphin appearing on his shoulder. It could have been worse - the same night his best mate ended up with a huge heart adoring his chest! Classified has long since had the sealife disguised by some sort of abstract Celtic pattern (after being advised that if he just had it removed the scar tissue would lead to a white dolphin riding his back every time he got a tan)!

Good job he has a sense of humour and I have, as you'll know from earlier posts, a natural affinity with sealife! Remember Mr. Fish?! Later..

Stud Muffin!

As I can't rewrite history, I think I'll stop writing about it for now, and concentrate on the present. So what's been happening in Daisy's world this week?

Yesterday, I had one of my other professional hats on, and was leaving the office of a client when, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the side view of a ruddy faced man who had apparently been caught short and decided to relieve himself against the wall of said client's office. As I averted my gaze and marched out, I heard a gravelly voice yell, 'Hey, Miss.'

As there was no-one else in the vicinity, I assumed said voice was talking to me. I turned to see a criminal client I had helped  just last weekend, by persuading the police that the allegations against him were baseless and should be dropped, grinning inanely and proffering a grubby hand for shaking. 'Sorry, you shouldn't have seen that.'

Err...no...I shouldn't... and knowing where that hand had just been, as you might imagine, I wasn't too keen on seeing that either, let alone shaking it, so dropped my papers in an effort at distraction therapy which, thankfully, worked. Who'd be a criminal hack?!

Anyway, enough of the night job, what you really want to know is about Classified. I've seen him 4 times now with a fifth date arranged - that in itself is a miracle - not least as he's one of the few people I've met in recent years that I actually want to see more than once but, also, that the feeling is mutual!

I met Mr. Dyson for lunch yesterday. He and Classified have a few traits in common. Hopefully not too many, in light of what ultimately happened with Mr. D, but enough to maintain interest. I haven't established yet whether Classified has an obsession with hoovers - let us hope not!

Anyway, a few more salient points for those who are interested which, if recent blog viewing figures are anything to go by, may be many of you:

• he's very driven and focused on getting what he wants from life (which, currently, seems to include me and a washboard stomach - his, not mine );
• he's very confident, in an Alpha male sort of way, but this is a tempered with a recognition that, in a relationship, he needs someone capable of giving him a metaphorical right hook (his words) when he's being a dingbat (I knew all the boxing with my PT was for a reason; I just didn't know what at the time!);
• he is bloody sexy - I woke up this morning to find a black and white photo of him with the accompanying message 'Night! Love Stud Muffin x' Not sure if he was being serious or laughing at himself. It made me laugh, anyway...maybe that should be his new sobriquet?

Right, I need to disappear now as I'm off on a course and then off to play with my friends in Ireland for the weekend, followed by a Sunday afternoon playing with Classified! Back next week. Enjoy your weekend everyone and will report back soon...

Paris (Mis)match!

Having been somewhat distracted by Classified over the last few days, it's high time I told you about Paris (Mis)match and the hand, or paw, that Tangle had in our meeting.

In my wisdom, I posted a photo of myself and Tangle on my profile on Udate. Seemed appropriate at the time, especially as Udate was also known as Zoodate (and even Screwdate by some of its members)!

Anyway, this very brief liaison began when Paris (Mis)match sent an email to Tangle which greatly appealed to my sense of humour....some woofy banter went back and forth and I agreed to meet this fellow lawyer, who loved Border Terriers (apparently), for supper.

A pleasant Tuesday evening ensued and he enquired as to my intentions regarding continued Zoodate membership! I said this depended on whether I was swept off my feet along the way...

After a moments thought he said, 'How about a second date in Paris?'

Despite his slightly pasty chinless looks, I laughed and said yes, as such madness appealed to my sense of spontaneity.

So it was that 4 days later I found myself at Heathrow waiting anxiously for Paris (Mis)match, already 45 minutes later than our agreed meeting time. With seconds to spare before check-in closed he skidded into the airport in a flurry of Gucci loafers, bright red jeans and mumbled apologies about a hangover and late dinner party with 'chums' Hermione, Plum and Rupert the evening before.

He smelt like a bottle of Hendricks and, when he kissed me hello, tasted like a packet of Marlboro Lights, and looked so crumpled it was questionable whether he'd seen a toothbrush and change of clothes since the previous day but, undeterred, I decided it would be an adventure regardless...wouldn't it?

24 hours later, having done Paris (in separate rooms, I might add), and wanting to hit him several times as he had no conversation and his response to everything was 'Yah' in that affected drawl, beloved of the ruling classes, I knew he was never going to settle down with a comprehensive-educated girl who's friends were called things like Sara, Jane and Jim, as opposed to Octavia, Giles and Sim. More to the point hand-made shirts, Gucci loafers and all the grand gestures in the world were no compensation for lack of personality and lack of a chin.

We parted company and, whilst he promised to call, I hoped vehemently that he wouldn't.
That was the last time I allowed Tangle to have a paw in my love life.
 

Pants on fire?!

Well, well, I seem to be having a rather good time with Classified. No-one could be more surprised than me, at this unexpected turn of events...

So perhaps I should divulge a little more... especially as Classified himself has complained that my posts about him thus far are tame and asked when he can expect the next installment.

This was coupled with his unconditional consent to write whatever I like - if needed, yet more reassurance for my dissenting commentator that those I write about enjoy their infamy!

So that leads me to the question of what I should write?

Well, for a start he is rather attractive and becoming more so each time we meet. This is a man who can even make a conversation about decoding algorithms (it's a long story) fascinating!

It's amazing how interesting a man you fancy can make the most uninteresting subject sound! And this man is seriously sexy - taller than me (8 inches to be precise!), knowing brown eyes and a sufficient modicum of EQ, all wrapped up in a body that's 4 years younger than mine and certainly a match for my beloved Johnny!

He's even more direct than I am (not easy, as my friends will vouch for) and asks me the sort of questions in his dulcet Mancunian tones that make even me blush . When I'm not playing with my hair in some sort of dopey, subconscious mating ritual, I'm generally opening and shutting my mouth like a demented Koy carp - enthralled and stunned in equal measure by his ability to leave me speechless (impossible, my friends yell).
And aside from the fact he's handsome (which is official as his 89 year old neighbour told him so just last week) he's apparently also blessed with killer sperm - or so he announced on our third date...

Not quite sure what he meant by that - isn't that something of a dichotomy?! 

Maybe he possesses some random genetic component, specific to him, that leads to instant death on entry. More research clearly necessary, before I engage in such life threatening behaviour because, just for the record, I haven't...yet...and, when and if I do, I will not be providing a detailed account! Remember, I am Daisy, not Belle de Jour...

Classified has the potential to set my knickers on fire, so I should probably get back on Match.com and line up a fireman as back up!

'Be careful,' wail my friends. I understand why and I love them for caring but they need not fear. I'm conscious of the red flags so care is being taken.

For now all I shall say is this - events of the last few years, in various aspects of my life, have given me the resilience of a rattlesnake and the foresight to have fun whilst I can for, as the cliche goes... Iife ain't a rehearsal...and I, for one, have spent to many years rehearsing and at the moment... I'm certainly having fun ;-)....

Later.....!

Time to Declassify?!

Well, well....for once, I have some tentative good news to report...

Classified and I had a lovely evening on Wednesday. So much so that we regrouped and met again on Thursday.

We met in a great country pub, chosen by him, which he swore was not somewhere he took all his dates. In fact I am, apparently, only his second date since the demise of his 16 year marriage and the first date was not a raging success...

I plan on saying little for the moment and operate on a 'need to know basis' - the definition of 'need' being based on the fact that my friends are all begging for further information so, in order to put them out of their misery, I will say only this:

• he is tall, dark and handsome (such a cliche but, in this case, true)
• he's a straight talking Northerner (big tick) who's migrated South
• he's funny and bright and strong enough to tell me when I'm being a dingbat (essential)
• on initial impressions, he appears to be a grown up (yes, really)
• we have arranged a third date (and I'm looking forward to it) despite a few red flags...

I may have to think up a new sobriquet for him soon...

The Len Show!

Don't ask why but, yesterday, I attended a national conference run by a man - lets call him Len - about the fascinating topic of waste management.

I accept that the subject matter was never going to be riveting, but I didn't envisage it could be as bad as it was.

We only got to no. 5 of 11 agenda items, as Len spent most of the time telling us about himself and his vast experience in this scintillting field. I don't know why he bothered with course notes; he may as well just have read out his CV over and over again.

I'm not sure about the One Show; it was more like the Len Show!

He was very proud of the fact that he pays private investigators less than the minimum wage of a poor African state to sit in hedges for days on end, recording every moment of people's illegal waste dumping activities!

Apparently, his investigative tactics are not appreciated by everyone. In fact one of his quarries was driven so mad by his persecutor that he carried a pair of shears about his person everywhere he went and randomly hacked hedges into topiary abstracts! Len was very proud of this fact too....

I'm surprised I haven't come across him on a dating site...he is just the sort of man that appears to be drawn to sending me messages!

And talking of dating....whilst I am not ready to declassify Classified just yet and I will share a little more with you soon...for now, I shall just say this....thankfully, he and Len have nothing in common...

Who needs John Humphreys?!

Well, Classified called to arrange date, suggesting three different options.

So far so good - called as promised (tick), was organised and interested enough to make the effort to come up with some great choices (tick). He just needs to turn up and he gets full marks!

And surely even I can't get stood up two dates running, can I?

I'm off to a conference tomorrow, 150 miles away, with colleagues, one of whom I have got to know well over recent months. Said colleague is driving and when I told her I had a date tonight she said 'Great! You can provide the in-car entertainment!'

Such optimism! It's a good job I've managed to retain a sense of humour!

Sad thing is, she's probably right! Whatever happens tonight it's likely to be more entertaining than even John Humprey's brilliant journalism on the Today programme.

Wish me luck...

Classified!

To my regular readers, I apologise for the lack of posts over recent days. I know, because some of you have asked the question offline, that you have been wondering whether my silence has been down to the fact that I've met a potentially significant other at last. Not yet, I'm afraid.

However, you may quite reasonably be wondering what has become of the aforementioned potential dates...and what other excitement has occurred, since I penned Hedge Fun?

Not enough in my view.

His Hotness, along with his uniform, has disappeared into the ether never to be heard from again. I could tell you what he does for a living and get him, in his words, 'into serious trouble'. I won't because I'm not vindictive, but it does beg the question why he divulged such classified information to a woman he does not know, so cannot know whether he can trust, if he was planning on going to ground a few days later?

Left Luggage went the same way...

The entrepreneurial one who was worryingly recently separated announced, the day before I had tentatively agreed to meet him, that he'd met someone else and it was all going very well and he thought he'd fallen for her, so couldn't meet. Doesn't that smack just a little of neediness, albeit that I didn't have high hopes for him anyway. On the positive side, he did at least have the decency to be honest rather than just stand me up.

And the others, should I meet them? Here's the dilemma....if you're not excited about a date before it even happens is it worth going?

Amidst a very busy working life and a social life to rival Prince Harry's (without the naked pool playing), charity work (yes, yes, I know I sound like a Miss. World contestant, even if I don't look like one) and my pretence at keeping fit, I don't have a great deal of time. I would happily make the time for the right man, if he appeared in my life, but the time taken in finding him, which generally ends up being wasted, is having something of a negative impact on both my sanity and my optimism...

On the other hand, is it fair to judge the likely compatibility of a date on the face of a few emails and possibly a telephone call? It may sound harsh but, yes, I think I and my friends who've dated for England over the last few years would probably say it it is fair.

So, for the next month at least, I'm only going to go on dates that I'm excited about. Obviously, such excitement may not translate into real life when we meet but at least there's a fighting chance.

So, tonight, I am going on a date that I'm very excited about. There are one or two 'red flags', but I'm fast coming to the conclusion that these are inevitable at my age and are merely a reminder that careful and cautious handling of my heart is required rather than instant dismissal of his. In the interests of avoiding jinx, I am saying absolutely nothing, other than I'm meeting him tonight ... if he calls me today to arrange time and place that is ... and, for now, I shall call him Classified....