Born Free!

Leaving the city early on our third day, we were met by our driver for the next few days, Lakey, to head inland.

An interesting journey, not for the faint hearted, not least because he insisted on overtaking anything and everything at every possible opportunity always on single carriage roads and invariably with traffic careering equally fast head on towards us.  For the uninitiated, you should understand that Sri Lankan roads are hardly motorways, more readily resembling a pot of snakes writhing unregulated down hillsides, so what lay around each bend was unknown and apparently of little interest to our kamikaze chauffeur!

As he risked lives at every manoeuvre he merrily explained how the country's half million tuk tuk drivers were extremely dangerous and didn't follow the rules of the road. Really, I asked, hanging on to LP's hand for dear life.... not exactly the ride of my life I had in mind!

Bizarrely, on the rare occasions that the traffic thinned Lakey slowed down. On one such occasion we were passing through the 'pineapple district' where succulent banana trees battled for supremacy with row upon row of pineapples - their dusty armour scant defence to the fruit bats circling above..

A stop en route involved somewhere that, whilst every tourist to the ancient kingdom of Ceylon probably visits - Pinnawalla Elephant Orphanage,  I would not recommend. Whilst the elephants were well cared for and, if left to the rules of natural selection, may not have survived I felt somewhat uncomfortable seeing such majestic beasts partially manacled and fed, washed and watered at set times for the delectation of tourists. We did not stay long as, in our humble opinions, animals like humans should be free...

Still climbing we eventually reached Kandy - an ancient city and home to the Temple of the Tooth Relic - one of the foremost Buddhist shrines in the world and a 'must see'. We went, we saw!

The following day we spent a wonderful morning  amidst the splendour of the Botanical Gardens, where lawns were being trimmed with scissors by young gardeners and several young couples courted under the shade of vast trees, harking back to a more innocent age. I'm sure they didn't have the problems with dates that I had!

From the tranquillity of the Gardens, we headed to the bohemian madness of Helga's Folly - an intriguing Sri Lankan land mark and much recommended in Lonely Planet. High on a hill above Kandy sits this unique hotel stuffed to the rafters with antiquities and framed journalistic articles chronicaling the life of the owner and her family's colourful English aristocratic past.

Over the years, the place has played guest to everyone from Laurence Olivier to Ghandi. As the ancient gramophone crackled in the background, various random staff appeared from different door ways amidst the dust and splendour that only the English aristocracy can provide. Next time we may spend a night as I imagine the dinner parties are legendary!
 
Later that day provided a cultural display of back flipping fire eaters in a building that was tinderbox dry. If it weren't for the immense skill of these gloriously dressed young men as they cartwheeled across the stage - flames in hand - I have no doubt the ancient curtains would have been ablaze taking the building and audience with them. Crikey, if hot drinks being taken in to aeroplanes is an H&S issue, heaven only knows what the good men of airport 'elf and safety would make of this!

 From Kandy, ancient teeth and a 'elf and safety officers worse nightmare we headed further upcountry to Nuwara Eliya-  a place known locally as 'Little England'.

Our journey was spectacular through acres of tea plantation - row upon row of plants standing like vast regiments punctuated by dots of colour - the tea pluckers. As ramshackle corrugated iron shacks littered the hills, these Sri Lankan women - mostly of tiny stature with decaying teeth and timeworn faces woked tirelessly. Their baskets spewing leaves - a minimum of 20kg a day they must allegedly pick to claim their meagre wages of just $3 US.

Their task hampered by the relentless rains declaring we were indeed about to arrive in Little England.

Just before we did we passed a Hindu ceremony where four men were suspended from ropes on meat hooks. Sometimes, one has to see to believe....

And finally our destination - the Grand Hotel  - formerly the Governor's Residence - and grand it was in all its faded colonial glory.

Winding up the drive, to what was originally built as a bungalow, we passed rows of dahlias and French marigolds thriving under plastic cloche hats.

Inside, vast marble floors bedecked with a grand piano and a forest-worth of mahogany furniture signalled the building's illustrious past.

Afternoon tea - exquisite cakes and perfect sandwiches that could easily have held their own against the Savoy or the Ritz, served by immaculately dressed men in chefs whites with tall, crisp hats. Colourful boxes of tea lined shelf upon shelf, like a library full of interesting new books.

The bar, with its vast wooden stools, polished brass and club chairs would have looked at home in any gentleman's club; the billiard tables, cared for by a former Sri Lankan top player for the last 22 years, were magnificent. Although LP and I did not do them justice when we attempted a game later on, we did at least abide by the strict dress code 'No skinnies. No shorts. No bathroom slippers permitted.' Indeed - the way my waist was expanding from all the wonderfully exotic curries, I'd fit in well!

However, before our less than competent attempts at billiards, not helped by the fact that I didn't realise when I ordered double g'n't that the single measures served here were already 50ml, we wandered into town. This hub of colonial history with raw sewage pouring down the roadside gullies was certainly past it's glory days. As we tried to find a small cafe, mentioned in Lonely Planet our efforts were scuppered by the street numbering which was in no order whatsoever - no. 3 next to no.14; no 23 abutting no. 90. Perfectly logical to some I'm sure but not great for the overly logical thinking of pilots and lawyers! 

And talking of pilots, travelling with one has its advantages....