Holiday Romance?

Sadly all good things come to an end and the time came for me to say good bye to Sri Lanka and LP for the time being...

Our last evening was made even more memorable by a chance meeting in a tiny Sri Lankan rooftop restaurant with a couple - one half of whom I'm reasonably certain is a well known award winning British actress....who was lovely.

Now though I'm home, to snow and work and all those things we love and hate about the UK, with a huge smile on my face as, after two amazing weeks together, I'm reassured that all the things I suspected about LP are true - a wonderful man, whom I respect and like for a great many reasons and the feeling appears to be mutual. Not only that but the holiday has provided the seed of an idea for a new business opportunity so maybe 2013 will be a great year for more than just it's romantic promise, talking of which...

....a holiday romance? No.

A romantic holiday? Most definitely and, I envisage, the first of many....just don't mention the penguins!

If only we were penguins!

Well our night 'on the rocks' was exactly as described. A table for two set up on the rocks, where a 5 course meal awaited us. As our' butler' led us down a path lined with flaming torches we were met by two of his colleagues - a waiter and chef and personal staff of three, ready to cook and serve our choice of wines and freshly prepared foods including an amazing array of seafood; the penguins would  have been happy!
A wonderful feast especially for us. I have to concede that it was perfect and would have been a truly romantic evening, but for one thing...
....said rocks, were positioned directly below the balcony of the main dining room which was full of guests enjoying their all inclusive bulk catered packages.
Sitting at our table felt like we were lab rats under constant obs. As 40+ other guests gazed down at us, the Japanese ones with cameras at the ready, it was clear they were expecting LP to propose at any moment. No pressure then!
They were to be disappointed...qute reasonably, bearing in mind that, technically, this was only our seventh 'date' albeit the longest and most fun one I have ever had! Shame we weren't penguins - at least they wouldn't have minded an audience!
Heaven only knows what will happen on our seventh! Bring it on, I say!

Suite talk!

Today has exceeded even my imagination, if not quite our aspirations!

Having been visited during breakfast by yet another manager (again, of what I'm not sure - deck chairs, perhaps), we were visited early afternoon by the overall manager, apologising again for the problems and insisting that he upgrade us to a suite ... which he assured us was beautiful.

We happily accepted, albeit certainly didn't expect it....and this really is a suite - vast and ... and, let us just say, interesting in decorative style!

It's themed..... I'll leave you to guess what theme, but if you were to imagine a Triad opium den (circa 1980) you'd get the idea...

Whilst I don't share the designer's taste, at least the hotel has tried to put things right. We even have a 'butler' now! And the view is spectacular... Our new home for the rest of the holiday sits above the external dining area which, last night, featured  live entertainment - the star of which sounded like he was enduring a slow and very painful strangulation! I fear that is where our penguin moment is scheduled for in just 30 minutes time...

We decided a late liquid lunch was the only way to navigate through the horrors ahead. Not least because LP hoped it might have the analgesic effect of alleviating yesterday's horrors - the physio....

Whilst he is man enough not to complain, he came out of the appointment looking a deathly shade of pale, not least because, after locking the treatment room door the therapist manhandled him in a manner that was more friendly than one might have expected, to the extent that LP was concerned  the physio's interest went an inappropriate way beyond what he'd paid for! Andeven if it didn't, said manhandling left LP  barely able to move this morning. Good job my interest him goes way beyond a fortnight of rampant misbehaviour!

Hey ho.....all adds to the fun....and now we must finish a couple of stiff gins in an attempt to get through whatever this evening holds! The butler just bowed to me and said he was preparing our 'special evening'....ye Gods!

As I write, LP tells me there is an awful lot of activity going on down 'on the rocks' below! Heaven help us....penguins now on tour!

Later.....

Chariots of Bling!

Well, typically things were still not running as smoothly as we might have liked. On returning to our room from poolside earlier, shall we just say that housekeeping had not quite done their job. To put things into context, the rack rate for the room we were staying  was in excess of US$250 per night, so certain minimum standards might have reasonably been expected.

After pointing this out, before heading to the hospital, we went on to spend a relaxing evening over a few cocktails and supper.

After our chariot - a blinged up red tuk tuk with stainless steel hand rails and a blue neon light in the back, switched on especially for the delectation of passengers, and a massive Kenwood sound system on its slim rear shelf -  bore us back to the hotel (narrowly avoiding spilling us out on the way)!. 

On arrival we were ambushed by one of the many managers (manager of what I'm not entirely sure - palm trees, perhaps)  insisting we join him for a drink, apologising profusely for the housekeeping deficiencies on top of everything else.  Apology graciously accepted, we arrived back in our room to find fresh flowers, a room that gleamed as though it had been cleaned inch by inch with a toothbrush and a bed topped off with sheets so smooth they looked as though they'd been ironed in situ and yet more towel sculptures - elephants clutching flowers this time!

Mistakes happen, but I have to give this place full marks for listening to comments and acting on them. A huge room with a huge bed,  fantastic ocean facing view and now pristine with a pair or resident ellies....the 80s decor in the restaurant could be forgiven....and, most importantly, LP and I were having a wonderful time....
Later.....

On the rocks!

And so the fun continued. Safely transferred, we found ourselves in a hotel which, whilst considerably better than the last, appeared not to have had its restaurant updated since the 80's! Maybe it was where Duran Duran stayed, when they filmed their video for 'Hungry like the wolf' in Sri Lanka, and the management decided to retain the decor for historic effect! Shame they weren't playing Duran Duran classics rather than the funereal music we were subjected too during our first foray into the restaurant!
As such, we decided to head out of the hotel for supper - the piped music and 'curry corner' on offer defeating even us and spent a superb and very civilised evening at the most elegant establishment on the island's coast enjoying their signature bellinis, Hendricks and curry to die for!
At least our room was far and away better than our last, the staff were friendly and helpful and the management, very much to their credit, were determined to make amends. So much so, that they insisted tomorrow we enjoy a fine 'dinning' experience prepared just for us 'on the rocks'!
Not sure whether that means we'll have to be so plastered we won't notice the shortcomings or whether, and this is the option I fear they mean, we are going to be served at a table perched upon the rocks of the Indian Ocean abutting the hotel, beyond the bar and in full view of other diners, like a couple of hungry penguins being observed for a National Geographic documentary!
Time will tell....but at least we're both still laughing - so much so that LP tripped and trapped a nerve in his neck. Ouch! Off to physio shortly, so until later....

Fawlty Towers, Sri Lankan Style!

As we left the comedy of Yala, and headed for what we thought would be our final hotel, tsunami monuments littered our journey - their varying heights depicting the height the waters had reached in different places. One cannot begin to imagine the horrors those, caught up in this terrible disaster,  must have endured.

At last, after a week of fascinating travels, we were both looking forward to a week of R&R at an 8 room boutique hotel in the southern coastal resort of Galle.

Highly recommended by the travel company, we could not wait to arrive...that was....until we did!

We were greeted by the manager, clearly not employed for his people skills, who appeared to have two speeds - slow (extremely) and dead! What was I saying about Yala and Fawlty Towers?! This guy made Basil Fawlty look like hotelier of the year.....

On being shown to our' ocean view suite' we discovered a room with absolutely nowhere to unpack - no drawers, no shelves and a hanging space about a foot wide and only two foot long. When we pointed this out we were shown to another 'suite' that didn't even have that.

There was only one chair in the room so it was impossible to sit and have a drink and chat - short of sitting on each others knees - and the room was separated from its 'ocean view' by a balcony which was actually a thoroughfare shared by three other rooms and staff; with no privacy whatsoever, this was hardly the idyllic and exclusive boutique hotel we'd been sold. 

Whilst we didn't expect the Ritz, this place was a joke. Time for action and a word with the manager who looked at us vacantly before announcing that the hotel's sister property was full, although after a few stern words it amazingly appeared to be not quite as full as it had been 5 minutes earlier and a transfer was arranged.

As we sat waiting for our taxi with a beer we knew we'd made the right decision to leave when we shared the bar with a pile of used mattresses, a dusty table and a discarded toenail. Thank God we both have a sense of humour! It made Fergie's toe sucking fiasco look classy!

An hour later a driver arrived - a vision of orangeness in a bright shirt, oversized mirrored sunnies, ripped jeans and mobile clamped to his heavily gelled head.  Too smooth to move...

...but at least he whisked us away from this awful place to the alternative offering which, although a little dated,  didn't appear to have any discarded body parts  lying around and, amazingly, even provided wardrobes for guests.

I was almost dreading what the next few days might bring...

Hearts & Flowers!

From the Hill Country it was time for safari - hopefully, seeing elephants, and with any luck leopards, as they should be seen - roaming free in Yala National Park.

However, as with most things in Daisy's world, the next part of our adventure was not without mishap. Arriving at our newly built hotel we could see graphically just how newly built it was as our suite - stunning in design - was already occupied by an awful lot of construction dust. Our views of the ocean obliterated by a thick red coating. This wasn't the only time we were to have a problem with ocean views - more of which later!
 
However as neither of us are precious, and both well travelled enough to recognise that travelling in a third world country is very different to a jaunt around Europe, we let this go and went for lunch. The waiting staff were pure comedy - a young man with eye brows to rival Dennis Healy - proudly delivered our lunch with a flourish! Sadly it was something entirely different to what we had ordered! Again letting it go, he asked if we would like some of the chefs special 'gravy' with the biryani he had just served. Yes please. He managed to deliver that when the biryani had been eaten. I'm not entirely sure what he imagined we would do with it? Drink it, perhaps!

Afterwards it was time to venture into the National Park; safaris here are somewhat different to those we've both experienced in Africa. No armed guide - I rather hoped we didn't meet a leopard when I discovered this - just Lakey in a different t-shirt labelled 'safari guide'. Our chauffeur was clearly multi-talented!

The roads in the national park were the worst either of us had ever seen; pretty impressive considering LP had grown up in the Diaspora so, by definition, had seen some appalling roads. However, bad they might have been they did not deter literally hundreds of 4 x 4 careering at speed along them, as mobile phone networks jammed announcing the siting of an ellie culminating in pile ups of trucks worthy of the M25!

After 4 hours of being violently thrown around, LP put his back out and could only laugh as he announced he hoped I was wearing a sports bra! An interesting tumble in the jungle nonetheless less and then it was back to Sri Lanka's answer to Fawlty Towers and the evenings entertainment.

Having showered I was wearing little, aside from a sarong which left little to the imagination when standing. LP hadn't quite appreciated just how little I was wearing when there was a knock at the door. He opened it to the room boy, whilst I grabbed a cushion to protect my modesty as he went about his business of preparing the room.

I imagined he'd switch on the lights, turn the sheets back, we'd handover the requiste tip and be gone within a couple of minutes. Oh no! Fifteen minutes later he was still there creating hearts and swans on the bed and adorning his towel sculptures with carefully placed flowers and leaves, finished with my necklace around the swan's neck.

In the midst of all this creativity, he realised the bedside light bulb needed changing so called the maintenance man along too. It was turning into quite a party! Such a shame I had no option but to remain glued to the sofa unless I wanted to flash at the entire hotel staff.

Just give them some rupees so they go, I hissed at LP who was finding the whole episode hilarious. After he managed to stop laughing he did so, only to have the room boy insist that 'Madame' come and look at his towel origami.

Grabbing the cushion in front of me, as a burlesque dancer may use a fan, I went over as LP barely contained his mirth. Wonderful I said through gritted teeth as the boy, inanely pleased with himself, backed out of the room practically bowing and saying  'Its for you; you are a pilot!'

God knows how he knew that but at least he didn't get to see my knickers! Onwards and upwards and LP and I so far, so very good!